How well do you know your soon-to-be spouse?Speak to anyone who has been married for years, and you will often find that communication is the key to a successful relationship. However, many couples enter a marriage without really knowing about their spouses, or how they feel about certain beliefs, hopes, aspirations, or even financial concerns. After the glow of the wedding is over, couples who haven't discussed these important topics may find that stress or arguments arise from miscommunication or misunderstanding.
Taking time to sit down with your fiancee or fiance prior to the wedding planning can help you learn even more about your compatibility and potential for a long-lasting marriage. Here are some of the questions you can ask each other, which may spark meaningful conversation.
Finances/Home:
Will we keep our money in joint or individual accounts?
What kinds of things will we talk about first before buying?
Who is going to be in charge of paying bills and other expenses?
How much time do we expect to spend with each other and when?
Where will we live?
How much will we be able to afford?
What if one of us had a career opportunity that required a move to a new city (or country)?
What if one of us, or both of us, got fired or laid-off?
How important is money to our relationship and marriage?
What type of material possessions are important to you (each other)?
What is your definition of financial security?
How much is enough for a "safety net" or "rainy day" fund?
How much of our income will we save or invest?
Entertainment/Friends:
Will we have a special "night" together that we always plan? Once a week, once a month?
Who is responsible for cooking or will we share that and how?
Do we have conflicting ideas of style?
When do we want to retire, and how will we spend our time after retirement?
How often do we like to go out with friends alone?
How often will we go out with friends together?
Family:
What do you like, or dislike about my family?
Is our individual relationship with our family going to stay the same, or might it change?
How will we share time with our families during the holidays?
Intimacy and Children:
How do we deal with each other's sexual expectations and needs?
Describe your idea of the ultimate sexual experience - is it romantic, is it spontaneous?
Will we have children? When and how many?
What will we do if we can't have children together (adoption, other options)?
How might having children change our relationship and the time we spend alone with each other?
How might things around the house/home change once a child is born?
Will one of us give up our career to stay home with our child/children?
Our Relationship:
What do you love about me?
Why are you marrying me?
How might previous relationships we've had affect our marriage, if at all?
What if an old boyfriend/girlfriend calls? What if we bumped into one on the street? How would you feel?
What about me drives you crazy or makes you frustrated?
What about our personalities is different and might be a source of conflict?
How would we know we're having problems ahead of time and what would we do about it?
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